much better :)

Attempted suicide..broken soul.. shattered dreams... a pathetic disaster

Suicide -- a one stupid attempt

Broken soul -- can be mended

shattered dreams -- there are always new dreams

A pathetic disaster -- we can always stand up again

i was so into my emo mode that i forgot how it is to enjoy life... to just be carefree and leave all worries behind..

I used to be like that.. And I now im trying again...

conclusion...

it's not only guys that could break your heart...

friends too :((

we all know that "WALKING, SWEATING AND GETTING DRUNK" is given, when you decide to celebrate the sinulog festival.

but this year was slightly diffrent..

it was cloudy. very! the kind, where it gives u the feeling that it's goin to rain.. :(

NOON  -- me and ownic went out already. the reason??. coz we wanted to have a great   postion to watch the parade. by then, it wuz already hot..

12:30 -- we went to cdh first, to pick up his significant other, nd decided to eat lunch at julie's.. ( they're really overpriced! and the portions are so minute!)  it was already returning to cloudy..

1pm -- we were walking towards fuente to meet our friend, when all of a sudden, it started drizzling!!! ( daymnnn! my shoes!)

1:30pm - we went into this house and decided to chillax there for awhile until the rain stopped. so we started drinking and talked about bullshits and lies ( hehehehe)

2:00 pm --- the rain got heavier and heavier..

3:00 pm -- we were kinda drunk already, but it was still drizzling.. we so wanna watch the parade that we decided to leave the warm cozy house, and braved the busy streets and the unforgiving weather,,

-------------- we eventually reached our destinations... but there are no more space available to watch the parade on a good view.. So,. we decided to let our talents for squeezing out. :)

we squeezed and pushed our way to the front and eventually ended across the street. thankfully! with our skills, we were able to get a great view of the parade! ( check out our photos) by then it was getting really humid!

6pm -- the parade was not over yet! talk about, alot!!! there were alot of floats! that means alot of sponsors! since we decided to watch the fireworks in ayala, we started walking.. it was already really really humid.I felt so sticky!  that i would've jumped at the nearest shower stall!

6:30Pm-- since it's already the tradition that ayala's gonna have fireworks during sinulog, it's already obvious to a cebu native , that people will be headin in that direction,. regardless the route. cebu is already overpopulated! so imagine the traffic!

7PM -- it got so crowded that there's no more way for people to pass. there were floats and cars everywhere! (stupid of em to bring their cars! when they know for a fact that there's no way for em!)  people we're pushing and shoving one another. we had to pass by a very narrow passage and into a very small hole just to get to ayala.. i think it was at the back of perpetual soccor.

7:30pm - at long last! we were able to reach AYALA and we found a great place to watch the show! with our feets aching, with our bodies so sticky..we were already feeling crabby. with the sudden change of temperatures.. we were not feeling so good. I felt faint most of the time.. im juz glad i did'nt pass out again

8:00pm -- I really needed to pee.. but the line in the cr was very very long. i felt like it would take me another hour before i get to pee.. and my bladder was already about to explode! omg! so my friend and i decided to go inside the mall to find a cr. we found one at mcdo, and the good thng was the line was not that long..

8:30pm --  we were already on our way out.. when we heard a bang! -- then suddenly, all the people started shouting and running towards the exit! THE FIREWORKS HAS STARTED ALREADY!!! the people inside the mall were going balistic! they were running everywhere! kids were being shoved people were getting pushed down the stairs,, it was litterally a STAMPEDE!

--- as i've said, i have a talent for pushing,squeezing and shoving! so it was no surprise to that i got out of that hell in one piece!

9:00pm --  i was enjoying the fireworks with my bff and his lover.. and at that moment, all the negative feelings, the aching body and feet, were momentarily forgotten.. :)

10pm -- we already chillaxing at roma mia and ate pizza :) . we waited until  the traffic was no longer that crazee..

11:00pm -- we were already heading towards mango.. by then it started raining again! ( damn the muddy streets!)

11:30pm -- we decided to stay at you bar, since there's no more place for us, at my fave bar numero doce.. I mean cebu is already a M__a nation.. if u know what i mean. hehehe. so literally, alomost  all of em had celbrated sinulog in doce! i envied them!

MIDNYT - - i KISSED AND GREETED OWNIC "HAPPY BEERDAY" layshoo au noh?? it's like the entire cebu celebrated his b-day with him.

1:00 am -- getting bored at YOU bar..  but stil drinking the red horse beer .. even without ice! imagine that!!!

1:30 am -- we decided to go home since we did'nt find it fun anymore.. and this time.. i was already fervently wishing that im in doce!! i know for a fact that tis time?.. i was already partying mind out of my head!!!

2:00 am -- i arrived safe, gloomy, irritated and very very drained.. i went up in my room and found my cuzn  jojo using the pc.. we started talking,,,

3:00am -- we were still talking....

4:00 am -- daymnnn.. we were still talking!!! hahahha!

4:30 am -- finally I dozed off!!! "_ )) so much for goin home early! 

 HOW I WISH  I COULD SAY THAT IT WAS A GREAT SINULOG.. BUT TO TELL U HONESTLY. I HAD MUCH BETTER ONES ..

 -- for what it's worth.. I get to spend the day with my brother and celebrated his b-day with him..and enjoyed the parade and fireworks :)  hu knows.. maybe next year will be better ( i'm definitely crossing my fingers)

im tired with everything

Im so tired that i could SCREAM

I can't let it all out!!!

I guess I need a much deserved break!!!!!!!!!!!

have u ever spent an entire weekend at home?..

and when i say home.. I meant the 4-walls that surrounds u. Just inside those walls.

for 48hours?..

have u ever tried that? :)

I have..

And leme tell u.. it's really not that bad.

Ownic and I decided to just lock ourselves in.. hehehe, we dont know  why, but we just felt like staying at home.

dvd marathons, foodtrips, sleeping, waking up, another round of dvd marathons and foodtrips!! :)

it's a terrific stress therapy:)

HOUSE RULES!

choose great movies/animes

totally unhealthy yummy fatty food

a comfortable spot on the bed/sala

a quishy pillow

A wonderful friend

Leave stress and negative energy outside your home

chillax

kickback

and most imprtantly..

ENJOY!!

now that sums up a great weekend . plus points?! - u can save moolah!! :)

my life-- a mess

my life - currently in hiatus

uhmmm where should i start??. :)

ok. lemme start here.. ..

I NO LONGER HAVE A JOB!!!!!.. hahahaha! :).

well, peeps who know me, knows that im very impulsive. but daymnn,this is one of the most impulsive stuff I've ever done...

I've been with convergys for more than 2yrs now.. and believe me, i did have loads of fun... till lately..

One day.. i just sat and down and decided that i cant really go to work there anymore. along with personal issues, it already seems unbearable.

and now im jobless. :). im still getting used to waking up everyday without nothing to do.. so it has been 3days and im at my wits end at bein bored.. ahahaha

Well not only that, I have managed to majorly mess up my already beautifully chaotic life. :)

2007 is definitely not for me. eversince the year started, i managed to get myself into all sorts of trouble. Well it would be good if i manage to drag myself out! but jeezzzz! i cant even get out of it on my own. IT seems I always need a pair of hands to haul me out.

Am i really getting stupid and weak? inept and difficult?

Alot of people do consider me blessed, I consider me blessed. There are alot of people who love and cares for me. and now im wondering. did i take them for granted?? pushed them away expecially when i needed them the most?.

hmnnn.. as always.. i was born a weirdo. I always do the opposite. when im in a very deeo shit, instead of turning to someone, i push them away.Even if it's crystal clear that i need them. Maybe there's this side of me that's very... how do the say it?.. MA-PRIDE!!!!  I would like to show them that i can handle it on my own.. but then as u can see.. i cant.. so i'd end up in much more deeper shit!

hahai.. it's really driving me crazeeeeeee!! and now im in a fight with one of my bestfriends and i dont even know if things between us would go back to normal.

For now.. i really dont know.. im currently in hiatus..

BUT THEN AGAIN..

if there's a problem.. there's always a solution..

-- stupid me.. why did i think of that just now! :((

few days old!!

PRICE: ONLY 15k.

RETAIL PRICE: 21,990K

my phone got stolen from me! :( ... that was last friday.I went to ayala to work out... but i got a very nasty headache. so i detoured to mercury drug store to buy meself a couple of aspirins. When i took my wallet out to pay for my meds, my cybershot was still there. In a space of  few mins, i felt my bag moving...

I looked back and noticed that my bag was zipped open.. then u know the rest..:( .

 it almost broke my heart coz,i worked so hard just to save for that phone.. :-(. but i consoled myself, by thinking that there are better phones out there and 13th mo pay is just around the corner.. but stil.. (u know na)

         And i thought things woud'nt get worse..

 yesterday, i was running late to meet ownic and wawa at the gym. while the taxi that i was on, was cruising smoothly down in capitol.. another stupid driver swerved beside us suddenly and it hit the right side of  the cab..

        I litterally stopped breathing for a few mins.. i thought " what if i was'nt sitting at the center of the cab?!!"" good thing my driver have good refelxes.. !

  i could be dead by now!!

     with all these things happening to me. it left me wondering what lesson i was supposed to learn??

help??

We broke up...

Then we got back again...

we broke up...

then we got back again...

I just dont know where this leads to..

all i know is that im happy when i with him but im gettin tired with all this emo rollercoaster bullshit!!

I am currently in a state of beautifully chaotic life, where peope who have nothin to do, shits on it. Frankly it affects and the thought alone pisses me off. I used to be good at tunin out neg vibes and ignoring people that sets off negative energy.. i dont undertsand why i cant do it now.. im thinking..did i change for the worse?.. being too aware of them assholes around me?.. or changed for the better?..-- which means i care enough already..which is which..??.

Sometimes we think were invincible.. were strong.... but are we really?? ..

I used to think that bein too emo is so overrated.... havin too much to feel can drive anyone crazy. Hell!! im drivin me crazyyy!!

--- i learned my lesson that wishn em dead wont work.. killin em would make me go to jail.. and hell no! there's no way im spending half mah precious lyf in jail for them freakos.

---what to do?.. continue to ignre them?? what if they wont stop?? anyone knows anyone who will assasinate?

--damn people who have nothin to do.

once upon a time.. there were 3 beautiful bestfriends. They're always together, and even once worked for the same company. They almost do stuff together and always had the best time. Through good and bad theyback each other up. . well u can say that their friendship is one of the best there is.

then one of em' entered into a chaotic relationship....

it was ok at first.. the other two bestfriends, did everything to make the dark lord ( that's the name of the boyfriend.hhhehehe) feel comfortable and welcome. They always invite him to their gimiks and outings, even though all he does is RUIN them.. and when I say RUIN, you can try to imagine, WORLD WAR 11...

he would cause total pandemonium...

He would fight with the guy bff in public.. causing bouncers to come up on them just to break them apart.. he would lie about big stuff and pretend to be innocent..but dont worry, the 3 bffs found out soon enough that he is indeed a pathological liar... so now.. no one believes him..not even the guy bff. He would even make half-baked excuses, makin the guy bff cancel his plans withhis 2bff.

what u need to know:: The dark lord.. is a fake, a copy cat, a liar to the highest level and a manipulative asshole.

> he would copy the guy bff down to the T.. act like him, dance like him, even tried to text message like him.... which the other 2bff found creepy..

the other 2bffs were very confused at that time, they dont know what to do to make the darklord happy... So they ignored the dark lord's animosity and continued to try to be happy with their bestfriend.. even though the Dark lord did his best to ruin their friendship.

III: The Dark Lord's Dark Mark

then the inevitable happend, he was supposed to go to bantayan with them, but he pleaded the excuse of having a fever, makin the the guy bff and the other girl bff to be late at catching up with the other bff. The two bffs ( the guy and girl 1) went to the dark lord's lair to check up on him. the Dark lord says he was allergic to ginseng....ginseng?? hello!! i mean no one needs to be a nurse to know that ginseng is like hypo allergenic or whatever the term is.

there were large red violet bruises( that' what the dark lord said) on his neck.. but the trio found out later on those were HICKIS!!! he cheated on the guy bff with an ugly named louie.

and now he has the nerve to rant and rave on the guy bff bec the guy bff, went into a relationship with one of the girl bff's close friend.. but take note people.. the only time the guy bff did it was when he was on the rocks and not in a relationship with the Dark Lord. It's still a fault.. but no more worse than the Dark lord's. agree?? ;-)) so what' gives him the right to be judgemental!

Now, the dark lord is seeking his revenge.. he's ruining the reputation of the guy bff and the close friend.. using multiply to do it, such a cheapo. and 95% of what he's saying are total talkshits and lies.hahai..

> chaos errupted.. the girl close to the close friend gave the dark lord a piece of her mind.. no make that pieces. hehehe.. and guess what, the dark lord went berserk..

> too bad him for him.. i actually pity him.. i mean he's like that coz he does'nt have a life.. he does'nt even have real friends.. so sad.. he's infact a suicidal psychotic hannibal.. bringing everyone else arond him, down to hell with him...

Good thing that the trio and the close friend learned how to ignore useless scab like him. They don't let him into their system and into their, now happy lives. :-)

the guy bff finally decided to distance himself and the other two totally agrees and supports hiim :-))

i mean what are friends for ryt??

> well it's really not over since his stil around.. maybe there's a continuation to this story after all :-))

wanna know hu the dark lord is?? hehehehe

lemme give u a hint>>>

 " try to guess hu the guy bff is and check his multiply acct, u can see the dark lord there with his primary pic.. he's wearing a blue shirt with his hand touching his chin."

stay away from me u psychotic stupid freak!! ur makin my life a living hell!! I HATE U!! I HATE THE WAY U TREAT ME!! AND I HATE THE WAY U MEDDLE INTO MY LIFE!! I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!!

EVAPORATE U FREAK!!

 

 

i was peacefully browsing through my multiply and friendster acts while sending quotes to loved ones:) ...

when a friend suddenly called me and asked if i now a certain person (code name = ****)

it's comforting to know , that , even though we went through hell , LEAVING never crossed his mind!

" this is ria, can i have Sprint # with the areacode first?? ----while i was saying the spiel, it occured to me that i have been saying those words to thousands of sprint custs already for the past 22mos.

And i have to admit that it's gettin boring, Every min, that i have to sit down and take calls, is like thousands of endless hours of boredom. Redundancy! the mundane! --- but then i never felt the urge to climb the, what they so called " the ladder of success" to give myself a change from takin calls. I mean i love bein an agent, with all the money that they're givin us.. i mean who would'nt?!! but it's just gettin too boring...:((

I used to enjoy my job, I used to look forward to the time that im able to take calls again and resolve their issues, to talk to my teamm8s and laugh about absurd questions our customers are askin, to coachings and teammeetings, to teambuildings and general assemblies. --- to make this long littany short, i used to enjoy my work! period!!!!

--- how i would like to have my drive back... how i long to enjoy my work again and how i would like to appreciate the simple pleasures it used to give me. coz, right now, im not even capable to smile at the mirror that was placed in our stations ( and im starting to hate it.. coz i see my unsmiling ugly face, everytime i have to look at it!)

I know it's my attitude that's wrong. Maybe Callcenter agents, specially from sprint, do experience this "burn-out".-- so if someone knows the remedy!

 HELLPP!!!!